I need to lay it out there

Title pun only slightly intended.

Now it’s time to talk down and dirty about down and dirty. It’s time to expose the naked truth. I need to knock down some walls about knocking boots. (I swear that’s the last one.)

If you want to read this post, go ahead, but be warned that it might be an awkward turtle zone.

Why is it that I can only sit down and write this post now? I’ve been writing about my wedding for several months. Here I am about 3 months out, though, and I’m talking about it because it’s now or never.

HG and I are both virgins. I know a lot of people are, but it isn’t really a topic people talk about it.

Ours views:

We chose virginity, as you probably guessed. I’ve always wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, always thought the connection would be worth it. Since I became a Christian, religion does play a factor in it, but as a reinforcement to my previous values. HG  (who was raised in a deeply religious home) says he never really gave abstinence until marriage much thought, but knew he didn’t want to “waste” it on a trivial relationship.  As an engaged couple, be know that we  are in a relationship that would make the act of sex meaningful and respect the value that we ascribe to it. So why are we still waiting? Now, we are a bit wary of making the decision to go ahead and have sex because we don’t know if it is our sex drives or brains thinking when we think it is a good idea to go ahead.

How it make me feel:

I’m  super nervous. I’m nervous mostly because of (often silly) unknowns. What if I’m no good at it? What if he’s no good at it? What if it hurts so much I don’t start to enjoy it for months? What happens if my birth control fails like it did with my mom?

I’m super excited. My body says “Go!” His body says “Go!” Bodies for generations on end have said “Go!” Gotta be something to it, you know.

People tend to offer unsolicited advice on the matter ALL THE TIME. I’ve been advised to use lube, which kind of lube to use, not use lube at all, go slow, just do it fast and get it over with, watch porn together the first time. That last one really creeped me out. I think that person wanted me to get pointers or something. After all that talk, though, I just want to put my hands over my ears. We’ll figure it out for ourselves.

We plan to just go back to the apartment we share and do what comes naturally. We have the rest of our lives to take others’ advice.



  1. iris said

    I know you’re not looking for advice here, but for your health, you might want to get your doctor to prescribe you some UTI-solving antibiotics beforehand. There’s a reason it’s called “honeymoon cystitis”…and if you actually have sex as much as you think you will be, there’s a fair chance you’ll encounter this problem.

    Or maybe just talk to a doctor about this in general. It can save you some anguish.

    • This is great advice, actually! I’m one step ahead of you, though. Since I’m a nurse, I’ve got the in with some doctors who hooked me up with a braod spectrum script!

  2. Jo said

    the gif is awesome!!

    And I promise not to offer advice (people are weird).

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