My waiting story

 I was a long time waiting for Mr. Dear’s proposal. I’ll sum up most of the dating period by saying that we knew we would get married and had talked about it for a while.

First important event: He asks my stepfather and mother for permission. The first week of June. I know because my mother immediately called me to freak out* and demand what I was doing. Way to keep a secret. And I’ll be honest and say that I was very disappointed that she told me; I had wanted a surprise proposal.

Next, a whole lotta nuthin’: For the next bit, I waited. Our anniversary passed, my birthday passed. LOTS of romantic-type moments passed. I began to frequent wedding blogs. I had planned and replanned at least five different weddings. I made up a draft of the guest list. I made up a budget. I (secretly) bought a wedding dress. I started saving for the wedding. I looked at about a million  different ring photos. I was going slowly insane. I started emailing him links to rings I liked (one of which is the one he actually chose!) and had awful mood swings. One moment I was so in love and excited that he wanted to marry me– ME!– and the next I had a whole kettle full of resentment with his name on it. About a dozen times I almost blurted out “I KNOW YOU TALKED TO MY PARENTS!!!!” I’m ashamed to say that I picked fights.

Cut to scene: First week of January he finds me bawling. I immediately pretend I was never crying. He was unconvinced. After he coaxed me, I ‘fessed up that I was upset he hadn’t proposed. I started crying again, which made me mad. Kettle of Resentment showed up and I was hot. Oh man, was I hot. I told him in no uncertain terms that I wanted a proposal by the end of February or I didn’t know how I would deal with my emotions. I understand how pathetic it sounds, but  I was pathetic. And it was true, because I was hanging on by a thread at that point.

Cut to scene: JANUARY 31. Blizzardish conditions, snowed in at his apartment the night before (and the next night, actually). I was sick and hadn’t told him. We took a walk. He proposed with a ring I hadn’t known he’d bought yet. I said yes.

So is there a moral to this story? Not really. It’s just an honest portrait of how I reacted to this situation, and I hope it helps some other woman in this position feel more sane.

*in a concerned-mom-type way, of course

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1 Comment »

  1. Emily said

    Can I just tell you a few things?

    1: I love the honesty of this post.

    2: I love that we’re so similar. Mood swings, waiting on the proposal, the final deadline for proposing, being disappointed that it wouldn’t be a surprise, picking fights…

    3: I love that everything is working out for both of us.

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